She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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