she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
