I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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