Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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