You're so nebulous sometimes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
