I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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