i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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