marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
