dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
