Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
