Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
