I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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