i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
operation have a gay friend backfired
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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