Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize