My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
