I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
