I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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