Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize