my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
