I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
