dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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