It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
