She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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