spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
