They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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