Where is the hickey?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i dont even know how to be here
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
