i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Dick very happy bro
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
