Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
