Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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