rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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