oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
