Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
