"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
