i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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