Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
