when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
