wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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