I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
