3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just cut my nipple shaving
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
