Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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