I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
