So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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