I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
