For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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