I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
