Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize