I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize