the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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