I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
