butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
