I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
