the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
