i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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