yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
