He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize