so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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