Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.

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(559): View more from California

You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing

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(630): View more from Illinois

I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt

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(631): View more from New York

Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.

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(806): View more from Texas

My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?

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