I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
