Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
