i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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