My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is the high leading the old right now
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
