i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
