Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
