When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
