My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
