It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
COCAINE IS GR8
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
