I think I died a long time ago.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
