If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
