it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
