He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
