So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
