I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
