why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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