idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
