I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize