I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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