my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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