So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
