3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
